For the last 20 of my 30 years on Planet Earth, I have written seemingly endless lists of New Years Resolutions. At age ten, these were things like “stop biting nails” and “keep room tidy” a little later they were “do homework on time” and “stop biting nails”. I usually write them in a new diary on New Years Eve and then barely glance at that new diary again for the rest of the year. Sometimes I find that diary sometime around Christmas and then I sit glumly on the floor berating myself for another wasted year of not achieving my goals. By some miracle, this year has started off in a very different way. I still found my old diary sometime in December because I was going to a lecture on literacy and I wanted a book to write notes in, but this time I didn’t dwell on the year of missed opportunities. Instead, I tore out all of the pages I had earmarked for ‘exercise’, ‘food’, ‘meditation’ on NYE 2013 and threw them away. I made the decision NOT to buy another new diary, but to restart this old one, because repeating old patterns was not the way I wanted to start 2015.
One of the things I really wanted to do in 2015 was start writing a journal. I wanted to chart my moods, monthly cycle and so on. I also wanted to keep track of my energy levels and my suspected food intolerances. So, when I found this old diary and tore out the old pages to make way for the new, I started my journalling right then and there. The first day of my journal is therefore the 27th December, proving you don’t need to wait to New Year to start the resolutions. So far I have written in it almost every day.
My other resolutions were:
drink less coffee,
do yoga as often as possible (15-30 mins per day),
dedicate myself to reading books on yoga and supporting subjects (especially the Wild Feminine and goddesses),
work on pampering my feet (one of my least favourite body parts)
and as an overarching theme for the year “work on myself”. This is my year of DOING THE WORK.
Somehow, and I’m not sure how…although I can see that would be hugely more helpful…somehow, I have stuck to my resolutions so far this year. I have found outlets for my creativity, I have drawn pictures, written poems, signed up for yoga classes and workshops, made a conscious effort NOT to berate myself when things haven’t gone to plan. I have been kinder to myself and as a result, kinder to my kids and my husband. By journalling, I’ve realised how up-and-down my moods can be. A lot of useful stuff has been discovered already this year!
Even if I forget one or all of my resolutions at anytime this year, I will not just give up. I will keep coming back to them. Life has it’s ebbs and flows, and honouring that is a part of my self improvement programme.
I hope you are having a wonderful 2015, and if you already feel off-course…you can turn it around. xx
